The Apartment of a savage

I've succeeded in moving into our short time lease apartment. There are however three features of the place that kind of bug me.

1. The Kitchen. This certainly isn't the kind of kitchenette neither Jamie Oliver nor Leif Mannerstrom would be proud of. Apart from lacking every type of mainstream kitchenware (like forks and knives) the gas stove lacks the essential GAS. Going from firstly being amazed and looking for potential on/off switches on the gas line, I've now realized that the person living here likes to eat his food alive (read: uncooked). Book titles such as "alive food" or "How's YOUR digestion?" confirm my suspicions.
   
2. The Bed. Or should I say the non-existing-bed. Instead of a bed this vulture-like savage sleeps on a fur. That's right, not even a tainted old mattress, just a fur.
3. The Ants. I don't know if this is an intensional part of the alive diet but it kind of bugs me laying on a fur and being unintentionally fed while I'm sleeping.
   

Apart from these minor flaws the place is fantastic. Priceless features such as heating make you forget all possible troubles in a climate where you're happy to notice that the outdoor temperature is "only" 10 below.